| hello |
[07 Feb 2003|03:48am] |
havent written here for ages. my livejournals the one i use now. sorry dj. you were loyal for so long.
if anyone sees this my livejournal is here
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(Eat Me)
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| Birds.fly.II |
[10 Jan 2003|03:28am] |
Scream for me (I swear no one will hear you)
Please don't cry.
If you care (I think you know that I do)
Birds will fly.
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(Eat Me)
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| please come to me |
[09 Dec 2002|06:28am] |
Tired and itchy.
lonely.
I need you.
I love you.
Please come.
I love you I love you I love you.
I love your eyes. The way they always look so sad and thoughtful. I can tell everything by staring into those eyes.
I love your hair. The way it falls into your eyes and you flick your head to get it out.
I love your nose. The way your always complaining about the invisible "bump".
I love your lips. The way your kiss me with them. So gentle and yummy. The way you smile and then grin, lighting up your whole face.
I love your tongue. So cute, so short. the way it makes me laugh.
I love your voice, your words, your laughter. not for shit mate and we giggle.
I love your hands. The clumsy big boyish roughness.
And your arms, when they wrap around me.
to be continued...
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(4 Bites | Eat Me)
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| more quizzes |
[05 Dec 2002|07:16am] |
Name: zoe wyeth
Do you like it?: ive grown to like my first name. i doubt ill ever be happy with my surname though.
Nicknames: loser (can you guess why?)
Screen names: zoereject (from the band the rejects), molo51 (old furby name)
Age: 17 years and 6 months
Birthday: may 31st 1985
Sign: gemini
Location: downe house school, nearish newbury, berkshire, uk.
School: see above
Status: i love gus
Crush: always, some secret, some known.
Natural hair color: medium brown
Current hair color: violet, with small roots
Eye color: blue/grey/green
Height: 1 metre 67 - 9
Shoe size: 6/7
[ favorites ]
Number: i dont know, when 1 8 becomes 2 0s
Color: black and red
Day: saturday
Month: august (reading festival)
Song: EYEWTKAS - glassjaw
Movie: american beauty
Food: chinese
Band: glassjaw/thursday/slipknot
Season: summer
Sport: none
Class: computing
Teacher: mr dixon
Drink: red aftershock
Veggie: mushrooms
TV Show: futurama
Radio Station: radio1
Store: dont know
Word: shizzles
Animal: cat/rabbit
Flower: yellow roses
State: cali
[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: yup
Do you have a crush?: i told youy before - bitch
How long have you liked him/her?: i dont know
Why do you like this person?: ????
If you're single... why are you single?: im not
If you're not single... give details...: huh? i have gus.
How long was your longest relationship?: 2 months
How long was your shortest relationship?: 3 days
Who was your first love?: justin
What do you miss about them?: him actually liking me
[ the past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: ...scars
What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: above
Last thing you heard: me
Last thing you saw: the computer
Last thing you said: gus
Who is the last person you saw?: sarah
Who is the last person you kissed?: jenn
Who is the last person you hugged?: jenn
Who is the last person you fought with?: spud
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: gus
What is the last TV show you saw?: random show
What is the last song you heard?: eyewtkas - glassjaw
[ the present ]
What are you wearing?: movielife hoodie, school skirt
What are you doing?: urgh nothing but this
Who are you talking to?: sarah
What song are you listening to?: nothing
Where are you?: computer room
Who are you with?: sarah, cazz.
Are you online?: uh huh
How are you feeling?: pissed off
Are you in a chatroom?: no
[ future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: 6.12.02
What are you going to do after this?: go look at other websites
Who are you going to talk to?: charley
Where are you going to go?: to eat
How old will you be when you graduate?: 18
What do you wanna be?: rockstar
What is one of your dreams?: play at meanfiddler
Where will you be in 25 years?: probably dead
[ have you ever ]
Drank?: um yeh
Smoked?: all the time
Had sex?: yuuh huh
Stolen?: yup
Done anything illegal?: yup
Wanted to die?: yup
Hit someone?: yup
[ other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: normal
Are you a lefty or a righty?: right
What is your sexual preference?: both
What piercings do you have?: ears
Any tattoos?: nope
Do you drive?: no
Do you have glasses or braces?: no
[ physical appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: face
And least?: bum
How many fillings do you have?: none
Do you think you're good looking?: ish
Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: yeh
Do you look like any celebrities?: nop
[fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: nop
How many coats and jackets do you own?: one coat
Favorite pants/skirt color?: black/blue
most expensive item of clothing?: coat
Most treasured?: hoodies
What kind of shoes do you wear?: vans/spikey
Describe your style in one word: zoe
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(1 Bite | Eat Me)
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| .one.two.three. |
[26 Nov 2002|11:53am] |
i cant even force my face into a smile and my hands shake while i type.
eyelids droop, tummy tight.
low, down, depressed. it'll pass. aslong as i get some sleep.
im a bad person. bad people should be punished. but i cant hurt myself anymore.
that would be stupid.
if i look after myself maybe i could feel better about myself.
zoe your not bad, your lovely.
keep saying it over and over. transforming the ugly grey blob into a beautiful rose.
black, red and individual.
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(2 Bites | Eat Me)
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| .::im:sorry:deadjournal::. |
[26 Nov 2002|07:45am] |
im sorry i havent updated for ages.
i havent had many thoughts in the part of my brain i use to write my deadjournal.
im happy tho, thats probably why, deadjournals for getting out my emotions. but im happy, just happy.
me and jenn have boys, and we feel loved, i had fun in games, i got a good mark on my physics test. i do have lots of work to do, but ill just work as hard as i can this week to get it all done.
i still love my deadjournal.
xxx
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(5 Bites | Eat Me)
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| .bands.and.songs. |
[25 Nov 2002|07:23am] |
-reminds you of an ex-love: "if you weren't so (perfect)" - sikth
-makes you cry: "shimmerman" - porcelainroach
-makes you laugh: "love at first fright" - murderdolls
-you wish you wrote: "everything you ever wanted to know about silence" - glassjaw
-you never want to hear again: "falling" - alicia keys
-you want to get married to: dont know
-you like to wake up to: "motivation proclimation" - good charlotte
-you like out of your parents record collection: the who
-you love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: miocene (emma told me about them)
-makes you think of someone who died: *shrug*
-makes you think of your bestfriend(s): placebo
-makes you think of sex:
-makes you think of being alone: "a hole in the world" - thursday
-makes you think of summertime: finch, the whole album
Song that reminds you of waking up in the morning: "motivation proclimation" - good charlotte
+Best song to listen to at night: taking back sunday - "bike scene"
+Best song for sex: not sure
+Best song to listen to in the rain:
+Song that reminds me I'm in love: "letters to you" - finch
+Song that reminds me of traveling: "stay together for the kids" - blink 182
+Song that reminds me everything is wonderful: "one love" - blue
+Fave band when i was 13: five
+Song that I liked then but don't now: limp bizkit - boiler
+bands that I still like after years and years of listening to over and over: slipknot, papa roach, the who, some limp bizkit, five
+Band that I am embarrassed to like: not band but cd - the pokemon soundtrack
+Fave male voice: daryl - glassjaw, wednesday 13 - murderdolls
+Fave female voice: brodie - distillers
+Fave song right now: "everything you ever wanted to know about silence" - glassjaw
+Fave bands you've just recently gotten into: taking back sunday, dimmu borgir, gorerotted
+Album you've just recently picked up that you should've had already: white blood cells - white stripes
+What should you really be doing right now, instead of this survey: homework
+What do you wish you were doing right now instead of this survey: with my boyfriend
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(Eat Me)
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[20 Nov 2002|04:24am] |
Teach Me Emotion
will you teach me how to love
call me names to hurt me
sing sad songs to make me cry
and fill my life with jealousy
find my heart and tear it apart
force my face into a smile
tell me jokes so i can laugh
be kind to show affection
The Only Way To Live
i scream and hate and fight this life
do everything to give it up
starve the body keeping me here
reject all i know can help
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(3 Bites | Eat Me)
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| ..screams.echo.in.the.mind.of.the.wicked.. |
[20 Nov 2002|03:59am] |
i burst into tears lastnite when i was on the fone to gus. im so completely in love. i miss him, i need him, not being with him leaves me empty and longing for us to be together again.
LIARRRRRRRRRRRRR
whether i found iii never told richer the briliant white iiiiii
i would chose desert to riches give me what youve got girl itches karma cameleon fire liiiiaaar
maybe not why the stare
would i lie about that which i am scared
what did i say to you?
step into a pot of gold
rejoice in fire that which soon burns cold
what did i say to you?
ive eaten two meals in the last 4 days, not counting snacks, which have been few. im just not hungry, i was lastnite so i ate as much as i could.
most of the time i feel sick, im ill at the moment anyway, throat, sinuses, mouth, ankle, head.
im listening to glassjaw on headphones, everything you ever wanted to know about silence just played, i feel even more sick, too much emotion, too many thought, too much sadness.
i just want to curl up and go to a place where there are no troubles, just me and gus in eternal happiness. if only there was a place like that, a heaven to escape to when we leave earth.
Screams Echo In The Minds Of The Wicked
eating up clouds of sickness to
find out how to live without you
theres no way of trying in darkness
and the world turns away with my light
just as i stretch out my arms to reach
the elastic snaps and you fly away
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(Eat Me)
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| .bunk.beds. |
[19 Nov 2002|01:08am] |
ive been a ball of soppy emotion all weekend. its all gus' influence *rolls eyes* hehe. but i love him so much, and we cant seem to stop telling eachother, hes just so perfect, he looks so cute that i wanna hug him forever, he says such nice things to me, and he doesnt even have to put up with me because he aktually likes who i am, my brain, the squiginess that makes me hate myself so much.
im feeling really shit now. one of my bestfriends, charley from brighton, just emailed me, hes in a bad way and i havent been here for him atall, i havent been on msn, or emailed for ages, im a shit friend. he needs me, his friends dont understand his problems, im the only one that he can talk to and ive been so self absorbed. i cud hit myself all day for being such a shit friend, but im just gonna take action and try and contact him more, and talk to him.
its weird, i love charley, and i feel so responsible for him, like im his guardian angel and i need to protect him, but like with gus i met him online and i really hardly know him at all.
he feels like a long lost brother, or even twin.
saturday was nice, alex was lovely, so was jamie, tim, every1, it felt so relaxed and just nice. even tho i was pissed outta my mind.
gus woke up to something happening between molly and alex, but mollys denied that she had sex with him, and tims really pissed off cuz he thinks she did, and alex is one of his bestfriends, anyway im in shit with molly. oops, it'll all blow over eventually.
spent most of monday with gus, i really love him, if we had money id run away with him anywhere, when he can drive we can do that, save up and go on holiday to random cities, i just wanna be with him all the time.
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(3 Bites | Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|01:01pm] |
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Would you rather neverending blackness or eternal dazzling brightness?
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(Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|01:00pm] |
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"The punishment does not fit the crime." he said "She MUST die."
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(Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|12:13pm] |
Black Matter
Voices echo down the empty corridors
Shadows dance in the blackest night
Colours blur and fade to greys
Shapes distort to fear and rage
Jealousy rules, the dictator of all
Eating kind words, spitting out bitter lines
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(Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|12:10pm] |
Never Again
It was so hard to see you behind a broken window
So close but never daring to touch
The day I left I saw you
Sleeping behind a closed door
To scared to even say goodbye
To scared to see you one last time
I never told you cuz I didnt know you
I never felt this way about anyone before
Your always on my mind
I love you and I dont know why
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(Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|11:52am] |
Emotion
waves come tumbling out of eyes
tears come falling from the sky
sparks from the air catch the thoughts that fill the innocent mind
The Apocalypse
when stars light up the earth goes blank
a canvas for the night to rule
brushes softly sketch the landscape
while people weep at impending doom
cryptic messages slide under doors
fear mingled with the stench of death
howling winds bring lives to the blackness
tides pull souls to the depths of hell
screams fog words as children cry
fathers shield them from invisible knives
chaos reigns as fires rage
enveloping us as they cleanse the earth.
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(Eat Me)
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[14 Nov 2002|09:43am] |
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yay i didnt aktually miss gus, hes online yay! *grinz*
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(Eat Me)
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| .pathetic.loser. |
[14 Nov 2002|09:38am] |
i just started crying cuz gus isnt gonna b online this evening, and i didnt get to say bye to him before. but its not just that, im feeling shitty about my life just now, i hate my attitute towards everything, im just so lazy.
i need some sleep, food, something to make me happy. this weekends hopefully gonna be good, a bit of alcohol, or rather alot, friends, gus, laughs.
my outfits more than sexy aswell :)
ok ive cheered myself up now, altho im pissed off, ive been watching angel for the last 2 hours when i shud have talked to gus cuz now hes gone.
*slaps self*
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(2 Bites | Eat Me)
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| .i.need.you.here. |
[12 Nov 2002|01:59am] |
dreamt about gus lastnite, was a vry weird dream but it was so good to feel like i was with him, even if it was just my subconcious. i love dreams, its like a cinima with films staring me. and always with the best characters.
ive realised that no matter what im doing im always thinking about him, when i wake up, when i go to sleep.
its so nice to know i love someone.
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(Eat Me)
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| .i.want.you.to.know.that.i.miss.you.i.miss.you.so |
[06 Nov 2002|09:18am] |
i miss gus so much, today the only thing ive been thinking about is how much i want to be with him, in his arms, knowing everything is alright.
i had one happy moment today, when i killed a bug in my teachers program really easily and simply. that cheered me up. i love being able to fix problems, programmings the only time i manage it.
this afternoon i st in lessons not knowing wot the fuck the teacher was going on about. i just wanted to understand, but i cant, and its so frustrating, it makes me want angry sex, hmmmm, im fuked up. atleast im not turning to blades.
dont ask, just wanted to get to know tables better thats all
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(2 Bites | Eat Me)
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| .find.me.before.i.hurt.myself. |
[05 Nov 2002|07:45am] |
that feeling in my tummy, a knot of emotion, forever growing until finally it bursts out, eating me from the inside, slowly destroying, making me crumble inwards, a pile of dust on the ground.
find my face
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(1 Bite | Eat Me)
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